Random quotes, issue five

12-10-22

Allie, randomly, during the beginning credits of Home Alone:
“Why are we here? ‘Cause we could’ve just got teached in heaven.”

12-10-22

Daddy jokes that he’s going to eat Allie.
Allie: “Daddy, eat Nicole. She tastes much better than me.”
Daddy: “She threw her sister under the bus!”

12-10-22

Nicole: “Daddy is really good at convincing, not in a pushy way.”

12-15-22

Allie, after eating one of two “pie slices” of a Crumbl sugar cookie that I shared with her:
“Mama, can I save that one?”
“Sure. Are you too full?”
“I’m not too full. It’s just, all my mouth tastes right now is frosting.”

12-19-22

Fran, the CEO at work, after rambling in a word salad in response to the question of whether a good AEP=good bonus: “What I CAN say, is that our bonuses will be adopted at a level…to be determined.”

12-20-22

Allie: “When I had my baby, it was really hard because, you know what? Because my baby was a unicorn, and the horn really hurt to get out.”

12-23-22

Allie: “Don’t get socks. Don’t get SOCKS.”
Me: “Allie, are you the boss? Are you the one buying the socks?”
Allie: “Someone already bought you new socks.”
(My Christmas present from Daddy. She tried her best.)

1-27-23

Allie: “Mommy, why do crazy people throw fire in the air?”

2-21-23

Allie: "I finally figured out how to get Emma to stop copying me. I draw a picture that’s way too hard for her." Oh dear. Even adorable 5-year-olds can get annoyed and use underhanded tactics.

4-21-23

Allie: "Why does Daddy have to work and work so we don’t see him very much?"
Me: "Because Utah is expensive."
Allie: "Then why don’t we move to Florida?"

I'm sure Daddy asks himself the same thing.

4-22-23

Allie: “Mommy, I’m so obsessed with giving money to other people. Can I please, one more time??”